I almost want my Mom’s car to have outrageous political bumper stickers just so that when I drive it, I can put a sign in the rear window that says something like “THIS IS MY PARENT’S CAR. IM SORRY FOR THEIR TERRIBLE OPINIONS” or “THIS IS MY PARENT’S CAR. I TRIED TO TALK THEM OUT OF THESE STICKERS”
"I think I'm going to get a California burrito for lunch."
"You're going to drive all the way to Folsom for a burrito? You're crazy."
"Crazy in LOVE."
I’m off to have hundreds of tiny hairs ripped off of my genitals with molten hot wax! Hooray!
I am the #1 fan of my boyfriend’s naked yoga.
“What’s surprised you most about being a parent?”
“The feeling of being called ‘Dad.’ It’s the best feeling on earth. The first time my daughter called me ‘Dad,’ we were playing hide and go seek. I was pretending that I couldn’t find her, and I kept searching and searching, until finally she screamed: ‘Dad!’ It almost made me cry. It made me feel like Superman.’”